does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
