tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Everyone says I win the strip club
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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