He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
