Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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