i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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