i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
