But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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