it wasn't lemon gatorade
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
