He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
