if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
