you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I need mimosas to revive my soul
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
