Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
