just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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