Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
