My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
