my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize