I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
