I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
