his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
