does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
