I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
