I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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