So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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