We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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