please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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