wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Is it penis luge time yet?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
