Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
