u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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