did you get engaged???
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
