Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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