Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
