god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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