I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The struggles of a small town man whore
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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