I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
