are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
