Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
