What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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