do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
