He asked me if I "almost moaned"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Damn victory sex feels great
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