sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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