But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
