think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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