Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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