Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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