Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
