Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
