I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
