bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
