The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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