I am puke
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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