Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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