dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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