Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
