Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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