Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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