I got chris browned last night
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
