WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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